restaurant you me vine stars night for what more to ask whats that inside you or i dont know i dont know how you make it me to smile in every joke you make but you know what i think from experinece you are not like others and Thank you for that moment where everything began to get better,
moment what im talking no moment moments there is more den this i dont i do not have words to express my gratitude for the pleasure that filled my soul, making me to forget in one night with you how much empty my soul was I was thinking that I deserve all evil and accident that befalls me. For the first time, after a while, I dare to think that I deserve at least a part of this good .It is a strange day today. It can not be said that im changing attitudes, but today curtains did fall from some of my windows like masks from my face and they offer a completely new life .
its not hard now maybe we wont touch each other feel breath skin kisses but we will see each other text send pocutres taking memories you promised that we will have new hopes new dreams new future and new life you said i wont be sad forever and im not and thank you for everything for every kiss moment gift and dreams I lost old dreams and you said dont worry we will make new ones and we did i wana thank you for giving me everything i wanted and i promise i will back soon to make it come true you said your teritory alpha male take all what i have not much but its me and i will promise you all i will but i wont say forever because there is no forever with me forever is long time for two souls one day i will have to leave you and break you before you break me
i know you are the one who found me in dark with tears in face with blood in hands you fixed all you could but you are man honey why should i believe in words i feel it i feel loved protected i like moments but its me i have to destroy you
mistake is to know me you know the story and me and that it was hard for me you know it and these nights with tears you know he was the one whom i loved in real how i know it with him nothing wasnt disgusting but with other i want to vomit truth is im not the same so be cerful whom you trust the devil was once an angel im not sorry for this what i done and what i will do better others to feel these things not me better you die rot not me my mistake was to fall in love and i learned my leasson man wont be happy with just one woman so woman should have more den one you will know it when time comes i want to see first how you will suprise me again
Yes i had free time today yes he did come like always to listen me i didnt know when last time that was to tell someone near me everything whats in my head in mind in my soul because all i did was writting to you Diary i think its happening when you leave real house and go to the world .It's absurd, because I wrote about a great love, passion and great emotion fate and blah blah blah. Sweet to me is that I have people in my life called by characters from movies and series, of course if they reminded me if they was like them and i dont even know why i Called him Maksut they are different in everything i dont know Maksut never gave up and in the end of first season he got what he wanted he got power money and Elif blahhhh .All these emotions that I had then, according to him, as far as I can with every inhalation and exhalation prayed for his happiness, I've forgotten until last night I felt his body his breath in my hair den i called him Damon den i was thinking i loved him in different way den him you know first i mean him never mind so I thought it was just fear. and now i know that i care for him and yes i love him but not in that way maybe he thought that i will change my mind i accepted but im not sure anymore im afraid that i will again run just because of fear not of him its seems that this will become even worse to be with someone who love you and you dont love in that way and to lie with that person and to wake up every morning with same person .I think I'd gone crazy fast from every touch and sight .But i cant just tell him that to hurt him like that everything was fine from our start but of course there was fear always and i was thinking that it wont be forever but that was everything what i wanted he would do all to make my dreams come true and all i know now is i love him like friend brother he is only one who cared for me so how to tell that im planing to leave him this is hard and i dont know what do maybe i wont leave maybe a he is my freedom my future and my family