When does life get better? I'm at a cross road. I can't decide what to do about anything. Nothing in life is certain. Nothing is absolute. Nothing seems to matter anymore. I don't want to go back to being nothing...having nothing. I have lost all hope in search of finding myself. I have lost the ability to trust in searching of finding redemption. I have lost my freedom because of the mistakes I've made. I keep feeling like I am losing my sanity as well. Some days I feel like I am losing the will to live. My hope, trust, and freedom is gone. My mind is on the edge of the ravines. My life is slipping away from me, and the moment that I lose myself will be the moment that I give up. My brain is constantly eating away at me...like little bugs squirming inside my head. I don't know how to fix what's inside me. People say to truly find what is worth having you have to lose everything to get it. I don't want to lose everything. I want to find myself without all the torment brought on by losing it all. When did losing everything define who we will be? I say we don't truly find ourselves until the time is right, the moment just happens, not when you are ready to give up. I know, for a fact, that if I lose anything else...I won't make it out alive.